On this day in 1999, my wife and I said our wedding vows in front of family, friends, and God. Since then our lives have been nothing but worry-free, wedded bliss.
Yeah, right.
I’m sure that, at the time, we had some fairy tale vision of a happily ever after, but life just doesn’t work like that. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for all the money in the world, but things weren’t always great. As a matter of fact, there have been times when things have been downright awful and frightening. Over the last 25 years we have been through our share of health scares, financial worries, parental concerns, and sometimes just getting on each other’s nerves. But through it all we had each other. We have laughed together, cried together, worried together, and argued together.
I submit that arguing together well is probably one of the greatest foundations for a strong relationship. It’s generally pretty easy to support each other when you are in agreement, but one of the hardest things to do is to tell someone you love that you disagree with them. Nobody likes to be told that they may be wrong, particularly from those they are closest to. But when there is enough trust and love to disagree, talk about it, maybe get mad about it for awhile, and then come back together and resolve it, you have a relationship that will grow and last. It may seem easier to avoid the conflict, but that will always lead to a broken relationship in the long run.
That is true in marriage, and it is also true in church families. Not everyone is always going to like everything that the pastor says. Not everyone is always going to like every song selection during a service. Not everyone is always going to agree about how the youth in church should be led. Let’s face it, there are plenty of people who will get mad about the coffee, or the flowers, or the font used in the church bulletin. The Bible tells us that whenever two or more are gathered in God’s name, God is with them. Well, experience tells us that whenever two or more are gathered, they will find something to disagree about. And that’s okay, as long as there is trust and love.
Wentz’s, we can disagree about all kinds of things as long as we’re open and honest about it. God will be with us and guide us when we communicate in love with each other. It is only when we stop talking that we break relationship with each other. So, my prayer for my wife of 25 years and me; and my prayer for Wentz’s United Church of Christ would be that we never have any pain in our lives and no reason to disagree. But realizing how unrealistic that is, I pray that we continue to work out our issues together for many, many years to come.