Do you remember the last time you had a genuine conversation with yourself? Or a challenging discussion about you with you? There are moments when we need to take a step back, place ourselves on our own therapist couch, and ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” As I conveyed on Sunday, introspection will give room for us to conclude that maybe “dang it, I am the problem in this situation.”
It is often the case that we only come face to face with our inner selves when we are forced to, usually during a crisis that requires us to make changes in our lives. It could be the passing of someone dear to us, which causes us to cope without their physical presence. It may be the aging process, where we realize our memories are not as sharp and our physical abilities are declining.
There are other triggers that can lead to self-confrontation. A simple comment from a friend may make us realize that we have been living inauthentically, not facing the truth about our values and actions. During moments of anger, we may say hurtful things that reveal our inner thoughts, causing us deep shame and regret. When we are faced with a significant decision, we may realize that we lack the clarity and purpose to make it, having lived our lives at the mercy of others’ desires and expectations.
Regardless of the reason, there comes a time when we are forced to delve deep into our minds and confront ourselves with only our thoughts and feelings. In these moments, we ask ourselves the most crucial questions of all: “Who am I, really?” “What do I really want?” These questions cut through all the superficialities and distractions of life, getting to the core and nerve center of our being. It is a spiritual inquiry that addresses the fundamental meaning of our life on a deeper level.
This is when we discover the true basis of our self-worth and identity. For many of us, that is found in our relationship with God. It is in moments of genuine self-awareness that we can sense the presence of the divine. As children of God, our journey toward understanding the divine starts with being honest and authentic with ourselves, facing our flaws, and embracing our strengths.
Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. So, Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, yet my life is preserved.” Genesis 32: 24 &30